Rose

Today's victim meant well. He wanted the names of his kids tattooed in Hebrew on his belly, probably even asked a native speaker for advice...


Too bad his tattoo was translated by a moron.

Funny really, we've got two names, Michaela and Trevor. Trevor (on the bottom) is a name that has nothing to do with Hebrew, yet it is perfectly written. Michaela (on top), on the other hand, is a proper Hebrew name, but was mangled beyond recognition.

The problem with a name like Michaela, is that you never know how to pronounce it. In Hebrew, Michaela is pronounced as mi-khah-EH-lah. In English, the standard seems to be mi-KAY-lah.

It's a confusing name! I wouldn't even blame the hapless translator, except his result is absolutely appalling. It reads mi-tchah-eh-lah, sounds a bit like Mitchell, and has an extra Aleph just for kicks. This error is one only a native Hebrew speaker with spotty knowledge of English will make.

Now, if you don't want to be fouled by phonetics too, pay attention. This is how you write Michaela in Hebrew:


The top is Michaela with the Hebrew pronunciation. The bottom is the English pronunciation, and it can be used for all related spellings, such as McKayla, Mikayla, Makayla and so on.

There's a lesson to be learned here. When getting a name translated to Hebrew, do tell your translator what it's supposed to sound like!

Today's victim thinks he has the name "Patrick" tattooed in Hebrew on his arm. He is quite wrong.


This Hebrew tattoo says "Nadav", which is a common enough biblical guy name.

The name Nadav means Generous, Noble.
The name Patrick means Patrician, Nobleman.

But you can see the overlap, you say?

That apparent overlap is false, because the noble in "Nadav" is that of "noble deeds" rather than "an aristocrat" as in "Patrick".

This transformation of Patrick into Nadav is so loose, it can be barely traced. So you see, this guy is walking around with someone else's name permanently etched into his arm.

This is how you write "Patrick" in Hebrew, not translated, but as is:

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Today's victim wanted to tattoo the name of her daughter, Xara, in Hebrew on her back:


Unfortunately, the transcription of this name from English to Hebrew was poorly done. Add to that a bit of freehand styling, and you've got yourself something utterly unrecognizable.

Had I not actually known this tattoo was meant to say Xara, I never would have guessed. In fact, it reads something like "Ksaoch".

The first mistake is due to the letter X, which is absent from the Hebrew language. Whoever composed this tattoo, used the Hebrew letters Qof and Samekh to represent the X. This combination reads as "KS", but the kid is not named Ksara, is she?

When transcribing a name, phonetics are very important. We've seen this kind of phonetics fail already, in a "Michaela" tattoo. See, the name Xara can be pronounced as either Zara or Sara and the Hebrew should be written accordingly.

This is how you write Sara and all its variations (Sahra Sahrah Sarah Sarra Sarrah) in Hebrew:


This is how you write Zara and all its variations (Zahra Zahrah Zarah Zarra Zarrah) in Hebrew:


The second mistake in the original tattoo, is the sloppy styling. Do not attempt styling Hebrew letters unless you know Hebrew!

Many Hebrew letters are similar to each other, a tiny line or a single curve make all the difference. Two letters in this tattoo are mutants by styling:


Compare these letters to the tattoo, can you see what went wrong? Styling your Hebrew is dangerous. Kids, don't do it!

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Today we have a very untalented speller. This guy was going for a simple (but very visible) Hebrew "God" tattoo. Well, this is what he got:


If you wanted to know just how bad one can misspell "God", this would be your answer. This spelling lacks the letter He, has a randomly added Ayin in the middle, and the Mem isn't in its final form. Also, completely unrelated Nikkud under the Alef.

It looks as if this guy knew how the word was supposed to sound in Hebrew, and tried to transliterate it on his own. Never a good idea! In this case even an automatic translator can do better.

I bet God is none too happy about this ridiculous treatment of his name. I sure am pissed when people misspell my name!


Want to translate "God" correctly to Hebrew? This is how you spell it: